D.

SAYING THAT MY marriage is even close to perfect would be a blatant lie; so I won’t. But I will admit that D. and I bicker and argue like children a lot! As a matter of fact, the only thing we excel at besides loving and fucking each other to sleep is fighting like wounded bulls. And to be honest, I sincerely believe that it’s how passionately we fight each other and how we fuck with such abandon that our marriage has survived the tests of time.

I met D. in high school and we were but two thirds of a best-friendship. When I was in the eleventh grade, word reached my ear that D. had said that he felt sorry for the man who would ever marry me. Are you laughing? Because every time I think of how fate played him, I chuckle. Don’t get me wrong, I am a good (enough) woman. I work hard and once in a blue moon, I cook and even help him clean (lol!), but like the wind, I am difficult to predict and impossible to control; I am compulsive and I stand up for my beliefs and others regardless of the consequences. And yes, besides his OCD streak, infallible memory and timekeeping obsession D. is just like that too. We can’t be lead in any way or be told what not to do. I take pleasure in always blaming him for everything that goes wrong and he has got to always be right. So, it goes without saying that we compromise poorly!

Yet, in the two weeks since I started blogging about our sex life, I have started to not only notice small changes in our relationship but also in how we treat each other. D. is carefree and more relaxed around me and I know the fact that he doesn’t have to ask to get laid or complain about his “stress” has got a lot to do with his new state of being. By giving in to our bodies’ sexual urges and not putting off or arguing about sex, I can frankly say that I feel closer to D. because the pressure to perform we both felt has evaporated. And because I am blogging about our sex life, I find myself trying harder to squeeze it in and spice things up. I take his eagerness as proof that I am doing something right.

Many who’ve watched us bicker and fight over the years wonder how D. and I are still unseparated, undivorced. It for damn sure ain’t because of how good of a cook I am, how many times I say I love you or how loyal he is to me. It’s because when we fuck, the sex is so fucking amazing that with every thrust, every moan and orgasm we share, we mend past hurts, erase shortcomings and wipe the slate clean for a new beginning.

Ask me if I would choose money or love and without hesitation, I would pick my lover.